Add a Comment

Comment by Kim Ogden on December 28, 2012 at 14:17

Sounds exactly like my diet....

THE LAW STUDENT DIET PLAN

WRITTEN BY KAT

“I could eat the apple in my bag, but that vending machine is full of chocolate. I’ll have the chocolate.”

Law students have the worst eating habits. Don’t believe me? Take a look at how we eat our way through the semester.

 

THE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD DIET

It’s the first few weeks of semester and you’re feeling pretty chilled. Your first assignment isn’t due for weeks and you’re still in holiday mode. You’re catching up with uni friends over long procrastinatory lunches and cooking up a gourmet storm at home – any food that takes a long time to prepare and eat is ideal. The longer it takes, the less time you’ll spend thinking about studying.

What’s on the menu? Pretty much anything that’s rich, complicated, and takes much longer to prepare than a packet of two-minute noodles. Oh, and there’s a lot of baking going on too.

 

THE ACCIDENTAL TAKE AWAY DIET

You’re about a month into semester now, and the deadlines for those assignments are starting to look a little too close for comfort. Being the responsible student that you are, you decide to spend the time between classes working on those looming assessments. But on the way to the library you run into a friend with the same idea. You agree that you’re both actually pretty hungry, and a quick take away meal before hitting the books couldn’t hurt. Plus the Vegemite sandwich in your bag was looking pretty boring anyway. Take away is somehow followed by chips, ice cream, coffee, etc. You waste as much time as the All the Time in the World Diet and consume even more food. Oops.

 

THE VENDING MACHINE DIET

That assignment is due this week. You barricade yourself in the law library and decide that you’re going to spend every available waking moment there. You’re too focused on your assignment to have packed lunch, so every meal comes from the faithful vending machine downstairs that conveniently accepts credit card. Surely some of the options are healthy?

 

THE ALL-NIGHTER DIET

That assignment is still not done and it’s due tomorrow. Must. Stay. Awake. So it’s Red Bull, coffee, tea, Powerade, Coke, energy bar, Berocca. Maybe a Twix or a handful of red frogs too. Let the combination of caffeine, sugar and pure stress sustain you.

 

THE HOUSE ARREST DIET

Your assignments are over but now exams are almost here… and you’re feeling pretty under-prepared. Locking yourself in your house for several blissful weeks devoted to study seems like a good plan. No time for cooking, it’s peanut butter toast and two-minute noodles for you.

 

THE POST EXAMS DIET

Does it have alcohol in it? You want it.

 

THE POST-POST EXAMS DIET

Combine one pair of sunglasses with quiet environment, two litres of water and paracetamol tablets. Greasy breakfast optional. Expect to find yourself thinking “detox”.

 
http://survivelaw.com/index.php/blogs/procrastination/728-the-law-s...

Comment by Amanda Mentiplay on July 28, 2012 at 23:07

Is anyone doing MLP302/MLM786 this trimester?

Comment by Kim Ogden on July 16, 2012 at 23:45

A world without lawyers

Comment by Kim Ogden on July 15, 2012 at 16:04

Thanks Christina - that made me laugh too :)

Comment by Christina Ward on July 13, 2012 at 16:30

This one really made me laugh

http://pdf.textfiles.com/posters/lawyercoloringbook.pdf

Comment by Kim Ogden on July 13, 2012 at 15:05

Comment by Kim Ogden on July 13, 2012 at 15:02

Comment by Kim Ogden on January 20, 2012 at 9:54

SURVIVE LAW - Working Hardly: Funny Law Quotes

Witty remarks and cutting criticisms about judges, lawyering and the pursuit of justice…

Good laws have their origins in bad morals.  –Ambrosius Macrobius.

A lawyer is a gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it for himself. –Lord Brougham.

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. –Anatole France.

Law: the only game where the best players get to sit on the bench. –Anon.

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel. –Judge Sturgess.

Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. – Jeremy Bentham.

It usually takes a hundred years to make a law, and then, after it has done its work, it usually takes a hundred years to get rid of it. –Henry Ward Beecher.

The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.  –Henry VI, Part 2, William Shakespeare.

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. –Charles Lamb.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. –Horace.

When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff. –Cicero.

About half the practice of a decent lawyer consists in telling would-be clients that they are damned fools and should stop. –Elihu Root.

I used to say that, as Solicitor General, I made three arguments of every case. First came the one that I planned–as I thought, logical, coherent, complete. Second was the one actually presented–interrupted, incoherent, disjointed, disappointing. The third was the utterly devastating argument that I thought of after going to bed that night. –Robert H. Jackson.

Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded. –Arthur T. Vanderbuilt.

The study of law is sublime, and its practice vulgar. – Oscar Wilde.

Comment by Kim Ogden on January 20, 2012 at 9:27

‎"[The law] is a jealous mistress, and requires a long and constant courtship. It is not to be won by trifling favors, but by lavish homage." - Joseph Story, (1779-1845)

Comment by Kim Ogden on December 29, 2011 at 15:01

Something to keep you amused...

http://survivelaw.com/blog/index.php/2011/12/working-hardly-funny-l...

“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” –Robert Frost.

“The court is like a palace of marble; it’s composed of people very hard and very polished.” –Jean de la Bruyère.

“Good lawyers know the law; great lawyers know the judge.” –Anon.

“An appeal… is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.” –Finley Peter Dunne.

“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.” –Mark Twain.

“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” –Norm Crosby.

“A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.” –Patrick Murray.

“Courts are places where the ending is written first and all that precedes is simply vaudeville.” –Charles Bukowski.

“The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself.” –Charles Dickens.

“If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.” –Mark Twain.

“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” –H. L. Mencken.

“There are two things wrong with almost all legal writing. One is its style. The other is its content.” –Fred Rodell.

“I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters.” –John Keats.

“In law, nothing is certain but the expense.” –Samuel Butler.

“Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.” –Otto von Bismarck.

“Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.” –Will Rogers.

“When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler.” –Al Gore.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next ›
• Page